


If I Go, Would You Care?

by MissConstance



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, its about Cheryl, the others are only mentionned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 17:40:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10769196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissConstance/pseuds/MissConstance
Summary: Cheryl was alone. She knew it. Nobody would care to look for her. Nobody would notice she was gone.Cheryl reflects on what happened the evening of the homecoming dance.Follows ep 11.





	If I Go, Would You Care?

**Author's Note:**

> So, I needed to write something about Cheryl after seeing the last ep of Riverdale (ep 11). I already love this character and I think she has much more depths than what is depicted on the show. And in the last ep, it struck me how alone she was, especially when she left the dance and nobody noticed. I know what it feels like to be invisible to people, to have people not care about you. So, this is my take on Cheryl's thoughts after the dance, after everybody abandoned her. 
> 
> Enjoy!

She was alone. 

That was what Cheryl thought as she was sitting on her bed, still wearing her red homecoming dress. 

That evening had been such a disaster. It wasn’t supposed to go like that. Cheryl wasn’t naïve, she knew things would happen and it wouldn’t be a perfect night. It was homecoming dance, of course, there was going to be drama. But she hadn’t expected that the drama would go without her. She hadn’t expected that she would spend her homecoming dance alone. Anyway, even before she left her house, it was already a mess. 

It had all started when she found her Nana’s ring, the one that Jason had promised to Polly as an engagement ring, in her mother’s belongings. Her parents had lied to her about this. They had lied to her about Jason. What else were they hiding from her? She always knew she couldn’t trust them. But this was about Jason, and they still lied. They would never be on her side, no matter what her father had told her about being ‘a true Blossom’. It was like her father had completely forgotten Jason and that he was finally seeing her. As if she could ever replace Jason. 

They were liars and cheaters. So was she. She knew her parents would have made the ring disappear like it never existed. She almost did it too. She knew that was what they would want her to do. And she wasn’t wrong. But she hadn’t been able to do it. The ring was something that linked her to Jason. Nana gave him that ring so he could propose to Polly. It mattered to him, so it matters to her. Maybe that was stupid but she didn’t care. 

She looked at the ring that was resting in her palms. 

Nobody knew she had it. And she was determined to keep it that way.  
She closed her hand. 

She thought about Polly. Poor Polly; drugged by her parents because of what she knew.  
She knew that Polly wasn’t here because she thought it was safe (to even think that Thornhill was a safe place was an aberration in itself) or because she cared about her. No, of course not. She was here for the same reason Cheryl hasn’t left that horrid house yet. She wanted to know the truth and she knew that Clifford and Penelope weren’t telling all the truth. The ring was the proof of it. 

Yet, she had let herself be tempted by the fact of having someone by her side, of not being alone in this house with her parents, of having a friend. Oh, what a fool she was!  
Of course, Polly didn’t care about her. Nobody did. The only one who ever showed her attention and love was Jason and he was gone now. She was accustomed to being alone at school. She never really had friends. That was why she established such a reputation for herself. If she couldn’t be loved, at least she would be feared. And that had been kind of a way out of loneliness. She still didn’t have friends but she had people who respected her, who admired her, who followed her. But now she had no one. Not at home, not at school. 

She was alone. 

She had fouled herself thinking people could care about her. She had tried, nonetheless.  
She had tried with Veronica. She had been the only person who actually showed her kindness. The only one who had helped her in moments of distress. But it had fallen apart like so many things in her life and she didn’t remember why or when. At least, she knew that Veronica didn’t truly care for her; or else she wouldn’t have given up on her so quickly. She had only pitied her. 

She has also tried with Archie. Like Polly, she knew Archie wasn’t spending time with her because he wanted to. Not at all. It was only because he had something to gain from it. And still, she had hoped that he would see she wasn’t the monster everyone thought she was. Oh God, she was far from being the monster, if people really knew her they would see how pathetic she was. But like everybody else, he had backed out when it had begun to be too much for him. He ran away. She couldn’t. She was stuck in this horrible life. And she couldn’t just forget it and walk away like Archie did. He abandoned her. 

Betty had been her final hope. Betty wasn’t like Veronica or Archie. She put others before herself. And so, Cheryl thought that maybe they could have gotten closer through their connection to Polly. They were family now. But she knew she had probably ruined everything with what happened at Jughead’s party. And even if she still tried to talk to her about Polly, she knew Betty didn’t care about her. The only reason she was still talking to her was because of Polly. And Polly would probably go back home after being drugged by her parents. Who wouldn’t? Her parents are crazy, if she could she would run away and never go back. 

But what was the saddest thing of all of it was that she still cared. As much as she hated it, she cared about them, about all of them. 

She cared about Polly. She knew Jason really loved her and was ready to run away with her. And now, Polly was pregnant with his babies. Even if she hated Polly, she would take care of her for Jason. But she didn’t, and that made everything even harder. 

She cared about Betty. Betty was kind and honest. She couldn’t lie even if she tried. If Betty really hated her, she would know it. No, she didn’t hate her; she just didn’t care about her. But Cheryl did. Because she was Polly’s sister because she knew she would never hurt voluntarily because she was good. Like Jason. Not like her. 

She cared about Veronica. Veronica had been the only one who saw what it was like to live in her house, to have the parents she had and she had helped her when she had needed the most. Veronica was everything Cheryl wanted to be. Veronica was respected and admired but not because people feared her, not like her. But because she was fighting for the right things, she standing up for the right people and the right reasons, because she was trying to do good. Cheryl had never felt close with anyone in life except Jason. And with Veronica, she felt some kind of connection. She felt safe. 

She even cared about Archie. Because, like his friends, Archie was good and right. He never did anything to hurt people intentionally. He had come with her when she asked him. He had been nice and he had even defended her. Nobody had defended her except Jason. And he was so much like Jason, and so much not like her. 

Cheryl didn’t want to care about them but she still did. 

And the worst thing was that they didn’t care about her. Nobody did. 

She had walked away from the homecoming dance without anyone noticing. Nobody stopped her; nobody asked her if something was wrong. Nobody even saw her leaving. 

It was like she could just have disappeared and nobody would notice a thing. Nobody cared. Not even her own parents. When she had left the room, she had wished somebody would notice her, she had wished that somebody would stop her, would ask her to stay. She knew it wouldn’t happen but she still had hoped. What an idiot! 

There all had someone and she was alone. Nobody would care if she disappeared. 

Cheryl stood up and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She was the girl who had everything and nothing. 

Slowly, she got out of her room and listened to see if her parents were around. When she heard nothing, she hurried downstairs and went to her car. It was past midnight and everything was cold and silent. But she didn’t care.

She drove until she reached the river. There, she got out of her car and sat down on the bank, watching the stream take everything on its path. Would it take her? Would the river take her as it took Jason? 

She didn’t know. She would probably never know. 

If there is one thing she knew that was that she was still alive and breathing and that Jason was gone. She’d survived horrible things and she was all alone, she knew nobody would even care to look for her until the morning, but she was alive. She had survived by herself these last few months. She could still survive. She knew it; she still had some strength left. She would have to face it alone, but she could do it. 

She needed to live, for Jason. She owed him that much. 

But for now, she watched the river flow peacefully, as if nothing terrible had happened in its waters as if nothing else mattered; and for one instant, Cheryl forgot.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it (even if it's a little bit dark)!


End file.
